Those Crafty Swedes.
IKEA: Friend or Foe?
The Swedes have got a stranglehold on North America. The allure of IKEA is too great for our simple minds, and the blonde-haired owners of this mega-store know it. They've been manipulating Western fools for too long, and it's time we end their tyrannical rule. Why do I need outrageously cheap, sturdy, inexpensive, easily transportable, well-designed, affordable home furnishings? I'll tell you why: because the Swedes say so.
The secret to the success of this Swedish giant is in plainly obvious. The meatballs. IKEA's mind-controlling meatballs. I'm not entirely sure of the science behind it all, but I can say this with all certainty: the meatballs are the source of their power.
One meatball to rule them all.
4 things:
You don't let down.
Well, now that I have one faithful reader, how could I?
Last weekend I went on a trip to Ikea with some friends and it was on my list to to-buys to get me some delicious meatballs to take home and keep in my freezer for future cooking. When I got there I was dismayed to find out that a bag of meatballs were a lot more expensive than I had anticipated, and after looking and deliberating, I decided to leave them and go home without buying them. This was a very tramatic experience for me! But then! To cut the wound ever deeper... the restaurant closes one hour before the rest of the store (we didn't know this) and as we ended our shopping and went to go up to the restaurant for delicious treats, the security guard informed us that the resaturant was closed... meaning... I got me no meatballs even for treat time! Then! I went scrolling through facebook notes, only to find your note, becoming reminded of the terrible terrible disappointed I had with the meatballs only last weekend, uncovering the wound and reminding me to want those meatballs even more. Further! Facebook limits the amount of characters that you are allowed to write in a note comment, so I have come here to post this very important experience.
The meatballs work in very mysterious ways. It is so very true.
Jill, that's easily one of the most depressing stories I've heard today.
How many meatballs do you get in a bag? I didn't even know they sold them in bags.
And as for the restaurant closing early, that's all a part of their ploy to get you to come back again for more meatballs. I'm telling ya, IKEA is a vampire, preying on the weak, innocent, and those prone to tasty meatball treats.
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