I Wish I Had a Birdmouth.

I had another one of those days where there was a major advertising battle ensuing around my ankles. I swear, I've lost more socks this summer than in my entire life combined. Someone is stealing my socks. Stupid sock-thief. Maybe it's the same guy who stole my sense of humor. A freaking conspiracy, that's what it is. The government is trying to get me to snap by thieving my sockies and wit. Well, it's just about working. Congrats, Paulie, you'll soon have what you want.

Today I watched a lady water the very top of her 25 feet tall cedars, where they were starting to turn a rusty color due to lack of water. Unfortunately for this big, dumb idiot, the truth is that watering the tops of your trees is not going to provide them with the help they need. Or the help you need, wiener.

Alright, now I'm just being mean.