Welcome to the Longest Blog You'll Ever Read.

The ancient art of blogging is a very technical one, and one that demands absolute perfection from those who practice said art. Did you know that? Do you believe that? I don't. It's a quote I lifted from an online encyclopedia.

Encyclopaedia.

I like it better with the 'ae' in there instead of just the 'e'. Gives it that ancient feel.

Ancient is a good word, and we know this is true by virtue of how many times I use it while blogging. If you're keeping score at home, that's already two times.

Speaking of keeping score, if you happen to be keeping score of the most hilarious things I've ever read, be sure to remember that the Hawk wins, hands down, by virtue of this quote from the other day, "A lot of people think the Oilers are going to finish twelfth in the Western conference. Well, my man Ryan Smyth has about 5 reasons in the last 2 games why the Oilers are gonna finish better than that." Particularly that bit about '5 reasons in the last 2 games'. Oh man. Is the Hawk a robot? My vote is yes, he is. A robot that rules.

The phrase 'by virtue of' is an incredibly versatile phrase. We know this is true by the varied situations in which I have thus far used this phrase in this blog. I'll bet some of you smarter readers already picked up on that.

Ok, let's do a brief readership poll:
1.) Who likes school?
2.) Who goes to school?
3.) Who put the bop in the bop-sha-bop-sha-bop?
4.) Who let the dogs out?
5.) Who?
6.) Who?
7.) Who?
8.) Who?
9.) Who?
10.) Who likes group work projects at school?

I don't. Especially when you get stuck with those two girls in your group. Those two girls that have their hair done with the weird poppy-uppy part in the middle of the top of their head, when wearing a ponytail. You know, the thing that looks like it was just a poorly-constructed ponytail but is actually some sort of hip fashionable thing. I think it's almost as dumb as wearing sleeveless shirts for an entire year, don't you?

Speaking of that, we might need to rethink some aspects of the sleeveless thing. Mostly by virtue of the fact that there is a certain girl that I am dating that I would likely not be allowed to continue dating if I were to wear solely sleeveless shirts. Does this mean I won't wear sleeveless shirts at every opportunity? No, definitely not. Does this mean I am severely whipped? Possibly. Does it mean I need to probably change that other blog I made? Yes. Likely. Does this mean you'll think less of me? Frankly, my dears, to quote a famous philosopher, I don't give a damn.

Longest blog I ever did.

From Daytona.