Pantalunatic.

I confess. I rarely wash my pants.

I think I know my reasoning for this fact. There's a logic to it, for sure, and I'm pretty convinced of it's validity. Basically, I'm of the persuasion that pants generally don't get as noticeably dirt-ay as shirts and such. Also, they don't get as noticeably smelly. Socks and shirts need regular washing because feet smell bad and armpits smell bad. There's not really a body part or region that really does that to pants. (I suppose the groinal region can get armpittish, but we don't really go around sniffing each others groins akin to our four-legged best friends, so that doesn't really count in my books.) I wear mostly darker jeans and blackish pants, which tend to soak up anything and assimilate it into its color scheme, ergo, not too much to worry about on the stain front. I could understand the regular washing of khakis and other such lighter colored pants, but regularly washing jeans like I have seems a waste of both time and water.

Of course, it's not only the fact that pants don't look dirty that has kept me from washing them, it's a coupling of that and the fact that pants get more and more comfortable the farther removed from a washing they are. If you are one of those tumble-dry freaks, you'll generally notice that your pants are tighter having taken them from the ol' rumbler. Not only that, but in many cases, you'll get that rotten static electricity making your leg hairs all haywire and sticking the pants to your legs. If you are one of those good people who hang their pants to dry, you'll experience the tightness and a very noticeable stiffness and rigidity. It almost hurts for the first hours after putting them on. If, on the other hand, you wash your pants roughly once every couple of months, your list of bothers won't include any of the aforementioned. (Of course, if you exceed that two month period, you run the risk of adding 'stiffness of pants' back on to the list, simply due to gross sweatiness and poo.)

I'm Daytona Splendor, and I don't wash my pants all that often.